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I had a totally different blog post written for tonight, but this has just been weighing heavy on me and so I decided I would write and post this tonight instead. Just a disclaimer before you start reading, I am in no way looking for pity. I wrote this post because I am a huge advocate for mental health and I want to try and help anyone who may need to read this post.
And I'm not going to lie this is kind of deep and something I have never volunteered to share with anyone else, but I have vowed to be more open and honest this year.
So can we just talk about how hard it is once you graduate college. AND I am not saying this is everyone, but this is my experience and I have found others to have similar experiences.
Since I have graduated college I’ve struggled with friendships and community and feeling as though I belong. My best friend no longer lived in the same city as me, so I didn’t have a go-to hangout person all the time and I honestly still don’t. I have a lot of close friends and a wonderful support system in my family, but I didn’t feel as though I had someone I could just call up to go hangout with at any time. (Not including my hubs, because he is always there, but a girl friend to hangout with.)
Well I started to throw myself into work and that’s when I started this blog. I needed something that wasn’t just for work and could get my mind off of work.
I also joined an amazing bloggers Facebook group, called The Sassy Club and found more people I had in common with and could talk to, the only problem was the girls weren’t near me in location. Which it’s great to have people to talk to, but I was looking for someone I could meet for coffee or cocktails.
I started working on finding motivation for myself and sort of went on a journey of self-discovery. I was doing a lot better in 2018, but I think I was just suppressing my feelings and not listening to myself as to how I was truly feeling.
Fast forward to September 2018 and I was working full-time and now going to graduate school full-time also. I had a full-on breakdown. I was working in a social work job, which was high stress. Most full-time jobs are high stress, but I was also trying to now manage school too and it was hard. I found my anxiety coming back in full force and I was having random breakdowns all the time. It was so hard for me to get out of bed some days. (And I just want you to know I have a point to this, and I am not trying to get your pity!)
Fortunately, I was able to get along with quitting my job, thanks to all of Logan’s hard work. But then things got a little worse after about a month with no job. I started to feel as though my life didn’t have purpose. Which is crazy because I know I have purpose, but I just didn’t feel as though I did. So I started listening to self-help podcasts, reading books, talking to my friends more about my problems, and really talking to God.
And I am not saying this will work for everyone, but this is what worked for me. Right now I am feeling the best I have felt in a long time. I have been applying for part-time jobs to help with our family finances again, and to give myself some purpose.
If you are still with me after all my rambling, you’re a real one. If you are feeling this way at all I want to encourage you to keep going, listen to all of those self-help podcasts you can find, read all those books you may think are silly. If you believe in God pray, if not do whatever you feel is right. And reach out to me, I want to talk and interact with you all. I may not have all of the answers for you, but I will do my best to be there for you and listen to what you have to say.
You may see all of these beautiful people on Instagram or online, but just know those pretty pictures you see don’t always show everything. I think this is something so powerful to remember, just because someone’s grid is beautiful and looks perfect does not mean that their entire life looks like that.
Shoot me an email or a DM and let me know if I can help you some way or if you need to talk about anything!